Well hello again!

Wow, where has the time gone? 

Things have been crazy busy, and frankly, I've mostly felt like I haven't had much to say, but I'm back.  :)

So since we chatted last, I've lost roughly 15 pounds, including something like 3" from my stomach area and 2" off my thighs. : D  Its not as much as I'd hoped for, but that's mostly my fault because frankly, I love food, especially food that tastes good.  I can't help it, its a product of having gone to culinary school.  How can I possibly settle for Hamburger Helper when I know perfectly well I can make something so much better?  I have pretty much quit baking though, for now at least. 

Also, The Hubs and I are moving forward with the IVF process.  The Hubs surprised me 2 weeks ago that he went to the bank on his day off and applied for a loan, and that we'd been approved.  I was really surprised.  We weren't sure if we would be able to do IVF in July, as originally planned because we didn't save as per our plan, and I was a little sad about that. 

My BFF on the other hand was actually happy about it.  I am married and ready to have a baby (or two or possibly three) and she's not, and that's okay.  She's thinking about making this new guy she's been seeing more of a boyfriend and less of just a booty call, she's staying out late, hitting up as many summer concerts as she can, and is just really in a different place in her life than I am.  I want to say things won't change, but I know they will, and that's okay too.  We've had so much fun, these last few months especially, and I like to go out and have fun, but honestly, in the end what I want more than anything is to be a mom.  I don't think that we'll stop hanging out, or being friends, but our friendship will change, and I am alright with that.  Who knows, maybe in a year or two she'll be ready to join me...or maybe it's just wishful thinking, but who knows what the future may bring.

So, since we've secured the loan, we are planning to do IVF in July.  I really wish I had more details, but frankly, I really don't know much about what else is coming.  I called the doctors office at the end of May to let them know when I started my period, and they put me on birth control about two weeks ago, and so tomorrow I will go in for a uterine eval and a pre-natal panel, and the Hubs will have some testing done too.  I started back on pre-natal vitamins when I started the birth control, am cutting my caffeine intake down, and preparing myself mentally for the crazy that comes with fertility meds, not to mention hoping I won't need to have injections.  I'll inject myself if I need to, but I am truly hoping it won't be necessary.  Shots in the ass suck.

I am really trying not to be too excited about this, but I am just so relieved to get things started.  I have so many questions on what the procedures are, and what is to come, and also, most importantly, the Hubs and I have decided to try for multiples!  Well twins to be exact.  I honestly don't know if we will ever repeat this process, and I have always wanted more than one child, so it seemed like a logical choice for us.  In a perfect world we'd get pregnant on the first round with two, one boy and one girl, but honestly, the sex of the child is unimportant, and whether I become pregnant with one, two or three I will be over the moon, as long as I am able to have at least one.  It doesn't seem like that's so much to ask, does it?  Just one pregnancy.  Pretty please??

I have to stop dwelling on the whole, what if it doesn't work theory and instead focus on the positive things, like that we've decided it will be fun if we don't tell anyone what the baby's name(s) will be until they are born.  Like the 2 hours of research I did on Tuesday afternoon on the benefits of cloth diapers over disposables, and I even found a reasonably priced service in my area too!  Like how the baby will be about 4 months old, if this first cycle of IVF works, for my sister in law's wedding, and how wonderful a family photo will look since the Hubs and I are both in the wedding and will be all dressed up.

And on that, have a great afternoon!  And think positive!